Alan Costello

With a looming tower of  books, notes and lab copies sitting beside me on my desk, and an ever bigger looming task coming in a few days, my First Year Exams, I’ve decided this is not a time for study, but my return to blogging, with 5 exams in the next two weeks, and no college till February 1st, I don’t see why I can’t knock out a few posts between now and then(even with my previous promises I was back).

I’ve a few posts in Drafts I’ve been meaning to send out to the Interwebs for a while now, hopefully you’ll all see them soon, I kinda want to move away from the ‘This is me, this is what I did last month’ blog this has become, not saying I’ll be the new source for all your latest News, Sport & Entertainment™, but I can sure as hell try to give you a giggle, a thought, or maybe even inspiration for a post of your own, given how blogging apparently isn’t over anymore.

To start the ball rolling… Maybe a nice little book review?

On possibly one of my favourite books of all time: Carol Leifer’s ‘When You Lie About Your Age, The Terrorists Win: Reflections on Looking in the Mirror’

To fully understand Carol, and the book itself, I think I’ll give you a little history on her, now in  her 50’s Carol was born into a Jewish family, and had a very normal life(albeit it as a comedienne), she was briefly married, and appeared on The Seinfeld Show several times, when in her 40’s, Leifer realised she was in fact a Lesbian, and has been living with her partner for several years now, her comedy is usually based on her upbringing and sexuality.

The book is broken into a series of pseudo-articles based on different topics and with intriguing titles, including ‘Fighting For Your Fake Tits’ and ‘Creating A Jew’, not to mention the ‘Surprise!’ article that deals with her mid-life crisis and her then-latent Lesbianism, it’s an interesting way to write a book and it works incredibly well, with no definitive beginning and ending, it’s a great one to just pick up and read when life, the internet, or even the weather, bores you.

Carol shows a stark honesty, as well as a brilliant comical wit in her book, broaching topics from Pets to Parenting, Menopause to Aging and even the unfortunate death of a Parent, it also serves as a wonderful guide for younger women as to what’s next in their life, and even to men as to what to expect in women.

As Carol once said in an interview with PETA, on becoming vegan:

“I recently became vegan because I felt that as a Jewish lesbian, I wasn’t part of a small enough minority. So now I’m a Jewish lesbian vegan.”

Having created her own niche Carol is definitely exploiting her almost unique standpoint and outlook on life, not only does that quote portray her comedic genius, but is also a good general idea of the content of the book.

I’m trying not to give away much of the book as frankly I laughed, smiled and even cried reading this cover to cover, it’s such a well written piece and I sincerely recommend you read it.

So what’s been going on? Well, I turned 18, have been doing the whole college thing, and what probably explains my absence, my Granda had a stroke.

The day before my Birthday(Wednesday the 4th) I was in College about to go to a lecture when I got a phonecall that my Granda was in Hospital and that I’d be picked up in 10 minutes.

I proceeded to go to the Hospital to find him in a bed, in a coma. He came out of the coma after a few hours and was left unable to talk, walk, or move his right side.

Things took a turn for the worst when on the following Monday night we were told he developed Pneumonia and wasn’t expected to make it through the next 24 hours, expectantly we rushed to the Hospital and spent the next while with him, when he showed some small signs of improvement we all breathed a collective sigh of relief, ever since then he’s been improving.

Over three weeks later he’s pretty much in the same state, though today, in a completely unexpected and inspiring turn of events he managed to say the word ‘no’ when we asked him a question(Up until now he was only able to nod or shake his head to answer). It completely took us by surprise and moved my Granny to tears as she feared she’d never hear her loving Husband’s voice again.

He’s still there, and even if he’s unable to move his right side he’s still my Granda, and he still retains all his mannerisms, wether it’s his rubbing of his forehead or our signature high-five we’ve always done, he even managed to bust out a wink at me last week, which literally made my heart melt, and assured to me that he was in there, somewhere.

The immortal Coco Chanel once said:

“Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.”

Unfortunately I’ve had to spend time, not beating, but waiting, on the wall to transform…and it’s finally about to.

In just under two weeks(the 5th of November) I turn 18, it may only represent a digit but it also represents a milestone.

I’ll finally be an ‘adult’ in the eyes of the law, while I may have considered myself to be one for a while now, the privileges that come the with digits are bountiful, I can *finally* make major decisions for myself with nobody else able to decide what they think best for me.

18 ushers in a time of change, not just Credit Cards and a lack of Permission Slips, I could move out and start my own life, I could(if I wanted) buy alcohol and cigarettes legally, I could do a lot of things…

But it’s the small things that’ll make the most difference, I don’t have to worry about getting ID’d going into places, I don’t have to get things approved by my Mother to do them, and I can finally do what I want to do.

It’s a great feeling, freedom, and I haven’t even truly attained it yet…Roll on November 5th.

Sitting outside the Computer Science labs on one of the college’s many PC’s(There’s two Mac rooms, but they’re only for Post Grads )

I handed in my first assignment today, it was a weird feeling, I’ve got my Chemistry lab in an hour or so and that should round off my second week in college.

It’s been an amazing time so far I have to admit, made loads of friends(and reconnected with plenty too), joined far too many clubs and socities, and have been to the pubs and clubs too

I really do think Maynooth is unlike and other university, it’s labeled as Ireland’s only ‘University Town’ and I think that’s very true, the students in the college outnumber the regular residents of the town, so I don’t think they’d be able to get away with no liking us…

There’s a brilliant sense of friendship here too, especially with all the clubs and socs. Last night was the first practice of the Gospel Choir, and even there made a ridiculous amount of friends…

All in all pretty brilliant…

Normal posting will resume soon once I get back into the swing of things…

…that  fashion is detrimental to society

Today concluded my first proper day of college lectures, it was a strangely satisfying, enriching, and awe-inducing day, as well as causing a realisation of how little each of us really matter as we progress through life.

Coming from 6th year, where we’ve been in a school for 5/6 years, and are the most senior students (usually carrying the highest levels of respect a student can hope to achieve), we go to a place where although we have the utmost respect, we also have a lack of seniority, and yet, it really doesn’t seem to matter. We’re now adults, and that’s all that seems to matter.

One of the “My God” moments, at least for me, was when you remember that there’s nobody there to look over you to make sure you’re in your lectures, nobody calling home to the parents, nobody going around checking you’ve done your work, the fact is that it’s all down to me, I’m the one that needs to be looking over my own shoulder, making sure I’m up and in my lectures and making sure I get my assignments done and submitted in time.

It’s kinda scary when you go from being the big fish in a little pond to a tadpole in the ocean.

~Everything’s been busy the last while, college has begun and I hope normal service will resume soon, in the mean time enjoy this:

So I’m one of you,

No matter what place I come from, 
No matter what place I call home,

No matter whose blood

Flows each day through my veins -

It is only the power

Of mind that will reign,

No matter what language

My countrymen speak,

First of all, in a man

It’s a heart that you seek.

In this boundless world

We’re all nothing but dust,

But we all have a heart,

Able to love and to trust. 
In each language these words

Mean the same as in yours.

Poor or rich, black or white -

It’s not our choice,

But for peace we will fight,

Will be heard every voice.
Since the first breath I made

Have for freedom all rights,

I’ll get over the pain

For my freedom and life.
In your sins you blame all

Who are different or weak -

That’s denying your fault,

Helplessness… don’t you think?

Fight for life, fight for all,
And you’ll get freedom, too.

In this strife for our world
I am still one of you.

So tonight, after having dinner with some friends to celebrate/commiserate the CAO results(through which I will be studying Science[maths, bio, chem and experimental physics] in Maynooth) we stopped in a random little shop on Grafton street, and I was bought a packet of Zappers.

For those of you who don’t know, Zappers are little chewing gums covered in a sour hard candy outer shell, and although the sourness wears off in seconds, they’re some brilliant seconds.

While sitting at my desk finishing them off I was thinking back to my childhood and all the sweets and how those carefree, wind-in-the-hair days of my youth with the Golfballs, Jawbreakers, Gobstoppers, Double-Dips, and hell even the Frosties are now long behind me.

And it was at this moment that it really hit me, I had for all intents and purposes ‘grown up’, I’m finished with Primary and Secondary school,  and I’m going to University. It’s scary how you have these moments of realisation over something as silly as a sweet, but I guess it really is the little things that make the most difference.

So it’s a few days since my Leaving Cert results came out, guess I should share something about it.

I didn’t do amazingly well, though I didn’t fail either.

Due to a D in Chemistry I’m knocked out of my Trinity courses, and although Chem was never my best subject I feel I did better than a D at least…I was pretty disappointed in myself with my results to be honest, I know I’m capable(and was expecting) far better, and am going to view and appeal some to see if I get  higher grade, if my D goes to a C I can get into Trinity fine as I’ve got the required points…so here’s hoping.

For the meantime the CAO goes live with my college course options on Monday morning, and it looks like I’ll be getting Science in Maynooth, not at all a bad option I will admit, just not what I had my heart set on.

My whole opinion on my results, and the Leaving Cert in general, is that’s it’s a load of bullshit(excuse my language), too much pressure is put on the students, the mere fact that 13/14 years of formal school training is summed up into two weeks of exams is just ridiculous,  and the knowledge that most of my grades were in fact based on personal opinion of the randomly assigned examiner to me is a complete load.

I’ve always loved this video, always handy for a laugh when you need it most.