Adoption
This is a matter close to my heart, and encouraged by Lily Collison’s inspiring posts, I’ve decided to do my own.
(from her own laptop no less)
In a way I was one of the lucky ones, I was adopted from birth. Something people always assume when I tell them I’m adopted is that I’m some troubled angsty teen from a bad background and an education in the school of hard knocks. Nothing could be further from the truth, I went to brilliant schools and was brought up with the most amazing family someone could ask for.
There have always been those niggling questions of ‘who am I’, ‘where do I come from’, and ‘why was I adopted’, the fact is they will always be there, and even after I meet my Birth Mother (which I can do when I turn 18 in a few months) they’ll still be there, I’ll still wonder why she gave me up for adoption, what life could have been like with her, and did she make the right choice.
For me the answer was a resounding yes, she made the right choice for herself and me at the time, she was a girl in her early-20′s, going to college. I got put into a loving family with two people, my Mom and Dad, who love me and care for me probably more than if I were their biological son.
My Dad died nearly 3 years ago this June, and it came as a serious shock, it was one of the worst times in my life, as I’m sure some of you will understand, but coming from the already missing feeling I had, having one of my few grasps of who I am ripped away could have destroyed me, but it didn’t, I know he wouldn’t have wanted that, I know he would have wanted me to be strong and go and have every success I desire (which is why everything major I do is done for him).
Now, I may be a little bias on the subject of abortion, but I think it too deserves a mention in this post, I have no doubt in my mind that my birth Mother at least considered it when she found out she was pregnant, but I don’t believe that a fœtus should be expelled because something went wrong, or someone made a mistake, the child did not be asked to be created, and I don’t think it should have it’s life held in the hands of someone too stupid enough to create and doubt it, cases of rape or incest are the only times I believe a choice should be given to the Mother. (I’m not looking for a debate on abortion in my comments, it is not the time nor the place, I just feel I could give a perspective you may not have seen before).
My point behind this post is basically not only to give you a little info into who I am, and what makes me who I am, but to also make you realise how lucky you are to have the family you have, too often do I see parents taken for granted(even by myself, I’ll be the first to admit it). I took a New Years Resolution out to not eat chocolate, and I think now lent is over too I’ll try and appreciate what I have, and(as clichéd as it is by now) it’s a recession, and some of us may only be left with our family in the coming times, they’re the ones who are always there for you, the ones who will always have your back, so look out for each other, you have no idea how long you have together, I had to learn that the hard way, take leave from my example and make use of it.
Very interesting post, Alan.
It’s strange why people frown upon adoption, when it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Your birth mother must of loved you enough to want the best for you, even if it wasn’t her that could offer it then.
A nice insight
Wonderful post.
It’s brought up loads for me and I thank you for writing it.
You have a very insightful way and a compasionate heart.
Your parents genetic and adoptive can be very proud of you.
Elf.
Not exactly the post I was expecting after what you had told me was coming today, but a very good piece.
Very brave piece. I concur with Elfinamsterdam – So many people can be so proud of you. Your understanding and maturity as shown in this piece is way beyond your years in my humble opinion
Great post Alan. Really good to read your thoughts on Adoption and your parents.
*hug* Ciars
That’s a really inspiring post, thanks for writing it. I agree with your views on abortion completely & it’s good to know I’m not alone in my thoughts on it.
Great post Alan.
But it does open up the question. Could Debbie Harry be your bio-mum?
Wow, well done Alan. I know how difficult posts like this can be to write, to compose and to put out there but fair play to you for doing so. I’ll bet it helps people to tell their stories too.
What a really thoughtful & thought provoking post. Having a fairly chequered family history it certainly hit a note for me. Nice one Alan
Hi Alan, Great Post took alot of guts to put all that out there on the Web. Fair play
I never would have guessed that you were adopted from birth, judging based on how much I know you from meeting face-to-face.
It’s always good to let things like these out, it can help to relieve pent-up feelings, and in general, it’s just better that all your friends know about it
Wow, powerful piece. Well written.
Awh, it’s a touching piece. You appreciate how lucky you are in getting caring and loving parents. That’s something many take for granted.
Take care.
That’s a gorgeous post Alan…. beautifully written and really touching.
Alan, you have touched a cord with many people on so many levels by writing this post.
Well done to you and your parents, they all made the right decisions.
[...] The hair razingly wonderful Alan Costello wrote a moving and intelligent post on Adoption [...]
A brave post. We all have crosses to bear at some point. Some decisions we can have no brearing upon but if we come out a better person then life can be good.
Men do not have any input when it comes to abortion as it is not their body.
I believe I have my opinion, I’m not facing a pregnancy myself so no, I don’t have any input, but I still have my views, you have no entitlement to try and tell me what I can and cannot say. Especially on my own blog.
Not to mention Maria, the fact that you are discrediting my opinion and view based purely on gender is incredibly sexist.
I stated very clearly I didn’t want an abortion debate, which you would have seen had you actually payed attention to the post, it just shows you are looking to stir shit and demean the point of the post which the 17 other commenters did get.
Amen!
Great Post!!